Mischievous Words

You do not dream: Because you live in Croatia? Because the success that you wish for, no one near you has ever achieved? Because you listen to 'I just want well for you' destructive tips? Because after fifteen life happened and you are not sure of yourself as you were in your childhood? Because what you want, is not 'here'? Because your dreams do not match the phone numbers for your uncles or friends? Because deep down you know that for dreams you need to eat shit when on the second, more secure plate they is caviar mixed with nepotism as a temporary existential solution? Because you are stuck in your reality systems that draws you to the bottom every day? Because you know, it is hard to stand alone in the mediocrity crowd when you can find someone to have your back? The above written sentences are excuses and justifications why you cannot dream. Why not, one day when we invest all of our physical and mental resources, become what we dreamed of wh...

Ever since I can remember, I was my own greatest critic. I do not need anyone to control any of my text before sending them in and assessing whether my views are wrong or true. I do not need anyone to tell me that I can do better because I know that I can always do better. If people complimented me about ideas or texts, I would have thought – what is wrong with you, I did it in 15 minutes, is not a big deal. Then I stopped and realized that it was still a big deal. Then I recently stopped and realized how good and great things I actually did in my life, and I have not stopped and give myself an applause for longer than three seconds, or at all. Like most people who do not. How many situations I have been so strong that I did not even know you could be so strong, that I have not stopped and gave myself an applause of more than three seconds, or at all. Like most people who do not. I did not stop and gave myself an applause of more than three seconds, or at all, for that I, e...

In the same day, two different people answer me the same wat to the asked question: “I am doing this and that. To make my day go faster. Just to make time fly by.” The emotion behind that answer is: “I am waiting for my life to pass by. Because it is full of crap. However, I do have to live it anyway. So, I am waiting behind some stupid actions for death to come and save me.”   I do not want to say I do not rest and be lazy. O, you would not believe how I can be lazy and do nothing. In my case, I call that recharging my batteries, or simple enjoyment. I just recently had some two gloomy days where I was unbearable to myself. Therefore, I was looking for anything to get me out of that intolerance.   Therefore, I found some great song and I think I had listen to it for a million and a half times. So I started to dance. (You know I love to dance). And here I became more bearable, remembering that life was really brilliant. It was not life’s fault, it was my own. I was unbea...

After the rainy days, a sunny day came up. Then shit happened. I got an allergic rash on my face. "What do I do now?" Otherwise, I must put the powder and cover that rash when I leave the house. It does not matter to me personally; I accept myself with it. Just as I know it does not define me in any one view. I put it exclusively for other people. Not to answer questions and not to let me ... "Wait, wait," follows the inner monologue. "You do not want to put the powder on the face and you look forward to leaving the house, but you will harass and yourself and your husband while you put the powder because of other people." This voice in my head can sometimes be wise, and I realize it's right about this situation. I step outside without foundation, rash kilometric-scale on-site. Without any discomfort associated with physical appearance. It only bothers me because in moments the rash is really tremendously painful. I go into a local store and face th...

Mom, I would like to tell you that I am starting to understand you. After the initial wave of happiness when you found out I was coming to you, you were overwhelmed by fear. Only a few hours after you found out that beside yours, another heart was beating, you were caught up with the magic of maternal care. You were worried if whether I'm developing properly, if I am getting weight, if you are eating enough nutrients, if you were nervous too much and if that affects me. You asked old acquaintances not to sneeze in your direction because, as you have said, you hide your pearl in yourself – and you are in fact hiding me, mom.You did not like morning crowds on the way to work. In silence you would automatically put a bag in front of you and all this, again, to protect me. All your strength was collected and left you in pain, Mom, when I saw the light of day. And that was only a drop in the sea of fears that in that moment you didn’t even think about.  Your biggest concern ...

The other day I read a column about fashion copy-paste trend in which withdrew parallels that all women are "equal in their diversity". In fact, it is not a problem in one piece of cloth that most fashion addict will wear, but where I see the challenge facing every other person is a re-examination on which side to "belong": fashionable for some Danish, Swedish, Chinese beauty of life while fleeing from Croatian dystopia because Denmark was until now only seen on postcards, but it is modern to be criticized for everything that has to do with the mainstream and everyone only takes from life what only fits you. In this case, I take the third philosophy into focus. Philosophy: I live and I create my own rules of my own life. I believe that we all want to live the way we visualize it in our heads without any limitation of the circumstances, the limitation from the people who   wish us well only when we do not stand out and we are not exploiting the maximu...

Should a woman become a bitch to achieve goals? In a society where I live naming a women bitch leaves a negative connotation because it is common opinion that she is the one who exploits others and chooses no means to get what she wants or she is considered the one who exploits men. In another context, the bitch is a woman who has power and dominance in the business world. Is the notion of bitch just reducing the independence and emancipation of a woman? IN THE BEGINNING, THERE WAS THE WOMEN'S MAGAZINE... At the beginning, there was the women's magazine and I really like women's magazines. But the more I read them the more I ask myself what we serve and to what extent. Most of the journals and the portal today that women are reading serve us fashion articles, then beauty and fitness, and finally about male-female relationships. Perhaps my attitude is too radical, but as I sorted the columns in them, I believe that they subconsciously are leadin...