Instead of being our self-worst critic, we should be our best support.
Ever since I can remember, I was
my own greatest critic. I do not need anyone to control any of my text before
sending them in and assessing whether my views are wrong or true. I do not need
anyone to tell me that I can do better because I know that I can always do
better. If people complimented me about ideas or texts, I would have thought –
what is wrong with you, I did it in 15 minutes, is not a big deal. Then I
stopped and realized that it was still a big deal.
Then I recently stopped and
realized how good and great things I actually did in my life, and I have not
stopped and give myself an applause for longer than three seconds, or at all.
Like most people who do not. How many situations I have been so strong that I
did not even know you could be so strong, that I have not stopped and gave myself
an applause of more than three seconds, or at all. Like most people who do not.
I did not stop and gave myself an
applause of more than three seconds, or at all, for that I, even today, kept
faith that we have come to this world to be all we ever wanted to be. There are
too many people, in this world today, who will want to criticize you, evaluate
your appearance from 1 to 10, and write their opinion of you in the inboxes,
that have nothing to do with you.
Then I paused and realized that
you had to love yourself, no matter how narcotic it sounded, and to love
yourself is a healthy thing. To love one's self is also a prerequisite for loving
another, but just to love them. Without expecting a return, without interest,
and reminding ourselves that the other half is necessary to supplement us,
because it seems to me that we are not there to supplement ourselves, substituting
our mutual shortcomings and half-threatening mutilated dictate by saying that
without the other we are not whole. Only when you are whole, you can give your
whole self to the other.
Then I stopped and realized how
many reasons at the end of the day we have to give applause, and we do so
seldom.
Thus, I realized that, instead of
being greatest critic of myself, to make the change, I would be the greatest
support of myself. You spend every second of this life with you, anyway.
You were given this body and this
hair and these hands and that talents and that gigantic power to change the
world and those eyes that can see so clear how things are. All those things
were given just for you. To go with them through the world and be all you have
ever wanted to be. Believe it or not, that my star, it's actually a big deal.
That, my star, in fact, deserves a round of applause and a lot longer than
three seconds worth. Every 365 days a year.
A lot of people have told me over the years that I am too hard on myself. I always want things to be perfect and completely 'right'.
ReplyDeleteLately I've been giving myself a bit of leeway though and tried being more laid back.
I still struggle when it comes to blog posts however, I over-research and my brain tells me that my post will never be as good as other blogger's...
Livvy x
www.seabreezecorner.com
O I know how you feel. Been like that for years, until I realised there is no such thing. Nobody and nothing is perfect, but I do know that we all are perfectly inperfect. You just need to take a deep breath, tell your brain to shut up and have fun writting. Because that is all that is, fun in doing things you like.
DeleteVery truthful piece. I am somehow a perfectionist and recently had the tough realization that my teenage daughter is very critic of herself also (which is probably my fault), so I had to stop and become more aware of my own actions and press the "reset" button :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you. I have three kids so I know what you are talking about. We really should be careful what we pass on to our children
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